My Confession
by She'sAManiac
Summary: When J.D learns that simple headaches and a bad temper are more serious then he thought, he finds out why his friends won't let this horrific turn of events get in the way of their friendship. JDP Jelliot Turla. COMPLETE!
1. My Symptoms JDs POV

It had started out like any other normal day

It had started out like any other normal day. Washing my hair with unisex caramel extract shampoo with Madonna playing in the background and Rowdy in the bath with me. Riding Sasha through the puddles on the way to work, slipping and ending up in a cleverly placed trash skip. Being laughed at by the Janitor for coming in with banana peel in my perfect hair. Yep, it was all a pretty normal morning.

I was leaning on the desk, asking Carla just why she smelled so nice today (note to self: mint extract body butter. Boy, I really love extracts!).

"So what's on the menu today, Carla?" I asked.

Carla picked up a few clipboards from the desk and handed them to me. As I read them, the look on my face fell, and Carla tutted sympathetically.

"Not a good day, Bambi?"

"No! I've got to tell a twelve year old girl that she has leukaemia. And Mr Cardon badly needs a new heart, and I can't get him on the transplant list. Why does Kelso give me all the hard ones?"

"Gee, Emily, maybe it's something to do with that permanent happy look you have on your face that fools people into thinking you're a good doctor, or it might be that you're so crap at your pathetic little job that Bobbo thinks you'll kill them off quicker so he can get his cash faster, I don't know, but I do know that those which you call the "hard ones" are little things called real people, and hopefully the reason you became a doctor is so that you can put a smile on their faces when you tell them they're about to die, so for gods sake Angelina, get a grip and start doing your job like you enjoy it!"

"Good morning to you too, Dr Cox!" I said, turning around with a big beam on my face, ready to greet my mentor.

"Go on, Newbie, admire my godlike physique, you know you want to, you have exactly five seconds, five-four-three-two-one, now go tell Mr Cardon your pathetic excuse for why you can't get him on the transplant list! Go, shoo!" Dr Cox yelled, clapping his hands at me.

With my tail between my legs, I scuttled off to Mr Cardon. That was the first tongue-lashing of the day over and done with. Although Dr Cox was right, he did have a very godlike physique…Holy crap, what was I thinking? Snap out of it, JD!

I opened the door to Mr Cardon's room. Oddly enough, I'd become quite attached to this patient. He often talked about his five year old daughter, how cute she was, and he had a great sense of humour. Poor guy, he was only 40. But he was very easy-going about the whole punctured-heart thing. Either that or he was a very good actor.

As I opened the door, Dr Cox walked past. He shoulder-shoved me.

"For god's sake, Newbie, get a move on! Some people have dying to complete and you're not speeding up the process!" he yelled at me as he walked down the corridor.

The touch of his shoulder to mine seemed to burn into my shoulder. Strange…it had never done that before.

The day went by fairly. I didn't see Dr Cox for the rest of the day…just as well, my shoulder still felt tingly from the bump, and not in a bad way. The rest of me felt tingly too, and I had a splitting headache. Hmm, splitting headache. That's an odd phrase…

_JD's forehead splits open. Two hands are seen pushing it apart as he screams. Dr Cox emerges from the split. "For God's sake, Tabitha, get on with your job and stop worrying about a teeny migraine!" "Get out of my head!" JD yells. Dr Cox promptly climbs out of JD's skull and walks off, shoulder-shoving him to the floor in the process. _

Wow…that was a pretty weird daydream! But it was true, as much as I tried to ignore it; a part of my head could not stop thinking about my mentor and his…gorgeous body…Man, what is up with me?

I didn't have any night shifts that night, so I went home. As I got off Sasha and turned the key in the lock, I realised that I was feeling slightly sick, and my hand was shaking a little. I also felt really sleepy. Just a cold. I'd seen these symptoms many times before.

I went into my room, and lay down on my bed, not bothering to change out of my scrubs. I fell asleep in an instant.

When I woke up, my vision was slightly blurry. I went to the bathroom to go to the toilet. As I washed my hands, I looked in the mirror. I held my hands to my temple to try and stop the throbbing headache. It was then I noticed that my head had become swollen and hard.

Oh no…


	2. My Explosion JDs POV

**Note-Don't own Scrubs. If I have put any references in this story that offend you, I'd like to apologise beforehand, but this has been toned way down from my original, so hopefully that wont be a problem. Thanks for reading! **

Brain cancer is not a good thing to have when you work in medicine. Some people assume that doctors don't get sick. I was one of those people.

"Gee, Gladys, what's with the grumpy face? Did you just get dumped by your boyfriend, or did you fail cheerleading tryouts, or did your brand new hairstyle just not go as planned? Whatever happened in your annoying little existence I am very sorry for but can you please try to stop Mr. Cardon from going past his expiry date so that we can all get on with our lives?"

I sighed, and walked off. Dr Cox wasn't helping my depression state. Suddenly the ground moved under my feet. I grabbed at the wall to stop myself from falling.

"JD, are you alright?" came the voice of Elliot. Suddenly, I could understand why Dr Cox found her voice so annoying. It was squeaky, and a few thousand decibels higher than everyone else's.

"I'm fine. Now move, Blondie, I have to get to my patient!" I snapped.

"JD…?" Elliot said. Her voice was soft, hurt. I suddenly came back to reality.

"Sorry, Elliot. I'm not feeling myself today. I'm ok…" I said, and I stumbled past her and into Mr. Cardon's room.

"Good morning, Mr. Cardon!" I grinned.

"Dr Dorian, are you alright?" said my patient. I realized all of a sudden that the room was swimming again, and I was clutching at the wall.

"I'm fine. Just a cold!" I told him and myself.

"You might want to see a doctor…"

I laughed skeptically.

"Mr. Cardon, I am a doctor. I can tell when it's serious and when it's terminal, thank you very much!"

And with that I walked out, without even checking up on him.

As I walked out, my vision blurred and I collapsed on the floor. Doug came to help me up.

"Are you ok?"

But I couldn't see a boy trying to help. I saw a pathetic, whining loser who caused chaos wherever he went.

"Get away from me, idiot!" I snapped, swatting him away.

"Hey, he was only trying to help!" yelled Carla from the nurse's desk.

"And of course, the nurse who's always right! An argument wouldn't be over without Carla's opinion!" I retorted.

"What did you just say about my wife? Get a grip, JD!" yelled Turk angrily.

"Get a grip? What do you know about healthcare? Go back to where you came from!"

Startled gasps echoed around the hospital.

"Oh-ho, look at that, he's finally cracked!" commented the Janitor.

"I don't need any crap from you, either! Making my life hell every single day, when it's already bad enough as it gets!"

Then it came.

The voice that would be my downfall.

"Now, Newbie…"

"Now Newbie what? Go on; take another shot at my life, which is obviously meaningless in your eyes! Or are you such a narcissist that everyone's meaningless except you? What have you got to complain about, when you already have everything you could possibly want?"

With that, I turned and pushed my way through the hospital doors, clutching my head.

"Dr. Dorian, may I remind you that you have a job to do?" snapped Dr. Kelso. But I ignored him, and the stunned, gradually building whispers that I left behind. Laverne was most likely already on the phone. People who had never met me would be talking about this for months.

As soon as I was home, I locked the door and threw myself onto the bed. What the hell was wrong with me? I guess I already knew the answer to that question. I just didn't want to admit to it.

I fell into a deep sleep very quickly. I was only woken up at 10 in the evening by the key turn in the lock. Turk and Carla were home.

There was a knock at my door. How could I answer? I had insulted Carla's pride and Turk's orientation.

"Bambi?" came Carla's voice, soft and sympathetic, from the other side of the door.

"Leave it, baby" I heard Turk say from the other end of the room.

"I'm not mad at you, Bambi. Just tell us what's wrong"

I was silent, barely daring to breathe or move.

"JD? I think he's asleep…"

Carla moved away from my door. I breathed out in relief. I heard them silently go into their bedroom and go to sleep.

I lay awake until 3 am. Then I got out of bed, unlocked the door, and left the apartment.


	3. My Diagnosis JDs POV

It had started out like any other normal day

**Note the clever little twist I put in there to do with another famous sitcom…**

Most people don't know that Sacred Heart is open at 3am. It's a secret thing that most doctors and late night bullet victims learn during their careers or shooting incidents. Luckily, no one I knew had a night shift the night I walked down to the hospital. I hoped that people wouldn't recognise me without my scrubs on.

There was no one in the waiting room. The nurse's desk was solely occupied by a tired, young blonde girl, who was dozing over her paperwork. I didn't even realise that she was awake, until she said "Dr Remore will see you now". She stifled a yawn, and I went through to the office.

It was odd, sitting in the cold room at 3:10 am. I wasn't used to being the patient. The room even smelled different; it stank of too many cleaning products, trying to mask the lingering smells of illness.

"Good morning, Dr. Dorian!" said Dr. Remore, shaking my hand in a firm grip. "Yes, you're probably wondering how I know your name. Well, after your little outburst this morning, I could hardly not!"

I smiled at him, trying to show him that I wasn't amused.

Dr. Remore sat down. He was kinda cute, with floppy black hair and a few smile lines. Elliot would have been over him like a shot if she were there. I wished she was there…

"I'm assuming your reason for coming here has something to do with this morning" said the doctor. He was now deadly serious. I nodded.

"I'm worried that it's something more serious than flu. I just want a diagnosis from someone other than myself" I said. Dr. Remore nodded.

"Well, shall we get you in for a scan then? Make sure we just clear it up?"

I nodded.

As I slid under the machine, I imagined someone was there to help me through, even if just for a minute. After all, I couldn't do it all on my own.

I'm no Superman.

And when Dr. Remore gave me the results I'd known had been coming all along, I knew for a fact that that statement was true.

When I got home, Turk and Carla were still asleep, and I managed to get into my room and lock the door again without them hearing. Only then did I allow a tear to fall. Just one. It landed on the carpet, staining it. I sank back onto my bed, as my vision blurred again slightly, and fell quickly asleep.

In the morning, I heard Carla knocking on the door again.

"JD? Bambi, are you alright in there?"

I called back. Best not to worry her too much. "I'm not feeling great…tell Kelso I'm not coming in today!"

"Are you sure, Bambi?"

"Just a bug, I'll be fine!"

I was still slightly disappointed when she left, though.

Through the day, I realised a few things. Firstly, that I was going to die. Secondly, that I was not going to have the treatment that would elongate my life expectancy. Thirdly, that I could not tell anyone either of the other two epiphanies. Not Turk, not Carla, not Elliot, not Perry. Hell, I couldn't even tell my own family. It would be easier to not let them know. Not easier for them. But when you're dying, you feel the entitlement to a little bit of selfishness.

So those were the reasons that I went in next morning with a smile on my face, apologised to everyone for my outburst, and pushed all thoughts of my future out of my head. For now, anyway.


	4. My Collapse JDs POV

It had started out like any other normal day

**Note-Sorry the story has been so slow so far. I'm trying to end chapters appropriately, and it's quite hard. Now it should get more interesting…**

"_Bambi, are you ok?"_

"_What's up, man?"_

"_Calm down there, Newbie!"_

"_JD?"_

_The voices that call to me are like swirling colors in front of my eyes. I know I've blacked out. I feel arms, hear voices. Everything merges into one. My senses are a blur. I fell plastic pressing into my face, urging me to breathe. Breathing is a chore. Why do I need to breathe, when I feel so light, so carefree? The oxygen tears scraps of air from my lungs. The blood in my head pulses, louder than everything else. The only thing that is solid is my pulse. As long as it keeps going, everything else is ok…_

"JD?"

Someone was crying. Their tears echoed as they hit the plastic floor. Elliot?

Everything was black.

It was odd, lying here in the midst of everything, but not being able to do or say anything about it. It was also odd being so deep.

But anyway, it was time to open my eyes and get on with my life. I tried to lift my eyelids, but they were heavy, and it was as if they were glued together.

Oh crap…

"What the hell's wrong with him?" said an angry voice. Was it my imagination, or was that…Dr Cox?

"Dr. Dorian has been suffering from a…growth recently. The results of his test show that he has, in blunt terms, an untreatable form of brain cancer"

I heard someone gasp.

"He came for a test?"

"Yesterday morning, at 3 am"

"So he already knew yesterday morning? He said he was sick!"

"Miss Espinosa, I think he knew for a while before he came to see me. I'm sorry"

Gee, thanks Dr Remore, for blowing my ingenius plan. There was a whack sound, and a curse. Dr Cox was probably hitting the wall in fury. So he did care about me…

"JD? Can you hear me?" gulped Elliot. But of course I couldn't reply. Sometimes she could be so…

There was a rush of wind, and I felt the breeze from the closing door.

"Baby…" pleaded Carla, and I knew it was Turk who had left. I wondered who else was in the room. Maybe someone hadn't spoken.

"Why the hell didn't he say anything?" said Dr Cox.

"Some people deal with the emotional side of illness very badly" said Dr Remore.

"So…how long until he wakes up?" oh crap! I've been asked this question before. The answers are never good.

"That is uncertain, Dr. Reid. It could be a matter of minutes…or months. But his condition is stable for the time being!"

"God, JD…"

"Stop your winging, Barbie! If Sheila's gone, she's gone!"

"Oh don't you start, Perry!" said Carla. In my minds eye she was doing her "Carla from the block" thing. "Don't have a go at Elliot when you're the one still calling him girls names, even after this! And JD is not gone!"

"Yet" muttered Dr Cox. The room went silent.


	5. My Figment Turks POV

It had started out like any other normal day

**Note-****Now we've got some POVs from other characters, starting with Turk! Enjoy!**

I sat on the pavement outside the hospital, shivering even with a jacket over my green scrubs. My body was jolting in short spasms from the tears that choked down my face. I wiped them away angrily. Why Vanilla-bear? Why JD?

A hand on my shoulder, and Carla sat down beside me.

"You ok baby?"

"Yeah…apart from the fact that my best friend's a time bomb!" I said wryly.

"He's gonna be alright. This is JD we're talking about. He always pulls through!"

"Why didn't he tell me? Why didn't he say anything?"

My wife put her arm around my shoulders. I laid my head on hers.

"It's late, baby. We should go home"

"Yeah…"

The house seemed smaller than it had before. Carla immediately went off to bed. I sat on the sofa.

"What's up, Mocha Bear? You ok?" said JD from beside me.

"Yeah…why didn't you tell us anything?"

My friend was silent. I knew that I was talking to a figment of my imagination. This JD couldn't say anything that I didn't know.

"Sorry I freaked out, man"

"Hey, least you weren't as bad as Elliot" my figment laughed.

"How you doing?"

"Oh, it's ok. Hey, you know what?"

"What?"

"A few more days and you'll be inside my head!" JD cracked up.

"I guess…" I said wryly.

"Aw, come on J-Dawg! It's not that bad!"

"It's not that bad? My best friends stuck in a coma, I'm having a conversation with a figment of my imagination and I don't know whether Vanilla-Bear's gonna live or die!"

JD was silent. I sighed, and leant back in the chair.

"The probably last conversation I'm having with you and I can't think what to say…" I muttered.

"You think it's bad? Last thing I said to you was an insult to your orientation"

"Now you know that wasn't your fault"

"Yeah, well it isn't your fault I have brain cancer, so don't feel so guilty"

I sighed.

"Bet the Janitor's happy"

"You kidding? He'll be crying into his toy unicorn!"

"That's you, J-Dawg"

"Oh yeah…"

Figment JD tilted his head up, and screwed his face into a ball. It was the face he made when he was having one of his mixed-up fantasies. It was those I was gonna miss the most.

"Heh, Leonard…" said my imagination, coming out of his fantasy.

"Hey, JD?" I asked.

"Yeah?"

"You'll be ok, right?"

My figment didn't answer. I didn't know the answer, so neither did he.

Suddenly, the phone rang from behind me. I picked it up.

"Hello?"

"_Hey there, Ghandi! Carla awake?"_

I looked. Carla was standing in the bedroom doorway, rubbing her sleepy eyes.

"Yeah…" I muttered into the phone, and passed it over to my wife. "Dr Cox!" I mouthed. Carla nodded, and went back into her room.

I sat down on the sofa.

Figment JD had vanished.


	6. My Newbie's Coma Dr Coxs POV

It had started out like any other normal day

**Note-Ok, so Turk's chapter was slightly boring. But it****'s our favourite Perry Cox now!**

"Hey, did you hear about that intern who completely flipped out a few days ago?"

"Yeah?"

I stood with my back to the two gossiping interns, even though I wanted to walk over and stab them individually until they sang my praises.

"It was brain cancer! He's in a coma a few corridors down!"

"Dude, you're kidding!"

"No way! What an idiot!"

"Totally!"

I had had enough. I turned to the interns, and clapped at them.

"Don't you ladies have anything better to do than stand and bitch about a doctor who is ten times better than either of you will ever be, because if not I have a stack of patients I can have transferred to you before either of you can say totally!"

"Sorry, Dr Cox…" the interns muttered. I could hear them as they scuttled up the hallway.

"What's eating him?"

"That intern with brain cancer was like, his favourite or something"

"Dude, that's so gay!"

I gritted my teeth, resisting the urge to tell the Janitor they had stuck paperclips in his precious doors. Then I turned, and went into a room.

The room where Newbie lay seemed smaller than it had before. It smelled of death, and the chemicals in the air burned into my skin. The heart monitor in the corner beeped quietly, muttering to itself.

I sat down on the chair next to his bed.

"Hey there, Millie-Molly-Mandy! I'm sure you're having a lovely dream about village fairs and unicorns and god knows what you girls dream about, but you need to wake up now before your boyfriend finds another pretty little tart to sleep with!" I mumbled. But my ranting was softer than usual.

He looked…sweet, in a girlish kinda way, lying there in ignorant bliss. I reached out, and ran my fingers through his hair. Traces of hair gel were left on my hands.

"How do you do it, Newbie? How do you manage to come in every day with a goofy grin on your chinless face? How do you manage to stay so chipper, even after telling people their loved ones are dead?"

If Laura was awake, he'd probably respond with something cheesy like "because I know I have good friends to help me through", before clearing off into his fantasy world for a few minutes, leaving me with a short, welcomed silence.

But now Newbie _was_ silent. And I didn't like it.

"For God's sake, Betty, stop being so selfish and wake up. Did you actually register that by being here you're causing a lot of anxiety to people who actually care about you. I'm sure that by now Gandhi and Carla are playing heads or tails over who's going to call your brother"

Obviously, there was no reply. Now I was seriously pissed. Ranting obviously had no effect…same as every day. So I tried a different tactic.

"Newbie…ok, its really gonna pain me to say this, but you need to wake up. Because, oh boy…this hospital needs a doctor like you. And if you die during your internship, we're gonna have a lot on our hands trying to find someone who'll measure up. And…I need you, Newbie. I need someone who'll keep me going, if only for a few minutes longer"

I sighed. The urge to rip off his oxygen mask and kiss him awake was almost too much. But instead, I lent down, and kissed his cheek. It was like kissing a cloud.

"Ever wondered about the real reason I call you girl's names, Marilyn?"

I walked out of the room, and over to the nurses desk, grabbing the phone. What had just happened, I didn't know.

I needed to call Carla…


	7. My Phone Call Carla's POV

It had started out like any other normal day

**Note-I'm trying to get up a chapter per day. I put up 2 yesterday because of the day I skipped. Now it's back to 1 a day. Carla's turn!**

I lay in bed, looking at the ceiling. Turk was on the couch, and I didn't want to disturb him. The red lights of the digital clock said 2:01 am. There was a stain of damp on the ceiling. Why hadn't I noticed it before?

Outside, I heard the phone ring.

Who was calling at this hour? I got up, and walked to the door. I leant on the frame as Turk picked up the phone, answered it and handed it to me, mouthing "Dr Cox" as he did so. I went back into the bedroom, and shut the door.

"Hello?"

"_Hey there, Carla! It's me, Perry"_

"Why are you calling at this time in the morning? Oh god, has anything happened to Bambi?"

"_No, Newbie's still stable. It's me I wanted to talk about"_

I flopped down onto the bed in relief.

"Can't it wait 'til the morning, Per?"

"_No. Five minutes ago, I kissed Newbie"_

I shot upright. I suddenly wasn't tired anymore.

"You did what? Where are you?"

"_At the nurse's desk. Don't worry, the patron saint of gossip has gone, the only one here is a girl so tired she's actually going going gone as I speak! I'm safe"_

"You kissed JD?"

"_Yeah, I don't know what just happened either but it su-hure as hell freaked me out!"_

"Oh I know what just happened! You, Perry Cox, are in love with Bambi!"

"_Carla, I'm sure you remember that the kid you're gloating over is lying in a coma three doors down from me with brain cancer! Not helping!"_

"Oh god, I'm so sorry!"

"_No worries…but anyway, Carla, what am I gonna do?"_

"Well what can you do? You can accept it, pray that he wakes up, and renounce your reputation as a very straight bad-boy doctor. Or you can ignore it like you normally do, pretend you hate him, crush him inside and pretend not to care when really the feeling inside is making you suicidal"

"_Hm…I like the second option! I'm good at that!"_

"Perry!"

"_Ok, ok, geez woman!"_

"You still at Sacred Heart?"

"_Carla, you know I'm gonna be there all night. I'll check up on him every five minutes"_

"Thanks, Per…"

"_Oh, and Carla?"_

"Yeah?"

"_Who's gonna call Dan?"_

The crackly sound on the other end of the line meant he'd put the phone down.

I lay back down on the bed. The door opened, and Turk came in and lay down next to me. I lay in his arms as tears trickled down both of our cheeks.

It wasn't much.

But it was enough.


	8. My Confession Elliot's POV

It had started out like any other normal day

**Note-****In case you're getting confused, this chapter is from Elliot's POV!**

BREEP! BREEP! BREEP!

Holy frick, that alarm clock was loud!

I swung out of bed, and tried to whack the stop button on the constant noise. I missed, and ended up hitting the table a few times before knocking the clock onto the carpet. It vibrated for a few seconds, and then stopped.

I rubbed my eyes, and looked at the room around me.

And suddenly, the memories of the past few days came back, and I remembered the reason I'd gone to bed crying yesterday.

I put my scrubs on, and walked down to work. Surprisingly, Carla was already there, although she looked a little worse for wear as well.

"Hey, Elliot" she said. Her voice was barely a whisper, and scratchy, like sandpaper. I knew then that I wasn't the only one who cried themselves to sleep lat night.

"Hey, Carla. Is Turk in today?"

"He stayed at home. I though you would be too. I came in to keep an eye on Bambi"

"Is he ok?"

"Well, he's stable enough. Perry was here last night, so we'd know if anything happened"

I sighed. Then my pager sounded. It was from Dr Cox.

_Brbie, go chek Mr Cardon b4 he has a heart attck!_

"Mr. Cardon? I thought he was JD's patient?"

"He was, but I don't think JD will be able to take care of him today, somehow. Perry's given Mr. Cardon to you"

"Oh frick…" I moaned. "See you later"

Then I walked off to find my new patient.

"Good morning, Mr. Cardon. My name's Dr. Reid. I'm going to be taking over from Dr. Dorian as from today!" I said, with a sickly smile plastered to my face.

"Nice to meet you!" smiled the guy. "So where's Dr. Dorian today?"

I took a deep breath.

"JD…I mean Dr. Dorian, is…indisposed at the moment"

"Oh, that's a shame"

"Yeah…it is…" I murmured under my breath. "I'm sorry, Mr. Cardon, but I have to go now. I have to see somebody"

I turned, and strode out of the room. I began to run down the corridor, past the nurse's desk, and into a room. I shut the door behind me, and sat down in the chair.

"Hey, JD" I stuttered, fighting back my tears when I saw his lifeless form. "How's it going? I just came here to tell you a few things. You're one of the best friends I've ever had. You're always there for me when I need you, so I guess I can repay that by being here for you now. You're always standing up for me against Dr Cox, and I've never really told you how grateful I am for that"

I could hear my voice getting higher and faster by the second, but I didn't care.

"And I really want you to know that I really appreciate everything you've done for me and I really want you to wake up so that we can carry on like we did before and so that I can tell you everything I've always wanted to tell you…"

Tears cascading down my face, I took a deep breath and carried on.

"BecauseiloveyouJDandidontthinkiveeverfeltforanyoneelsewhatifeelforyouandidontcareifyoudontlovemejustaslongasyouraliveandhappythenillbehappytoosopleasewakeupbecauseiloveyouJDiloveyou!"

And with that I stood up, and ran out of the room.


	9. My Mop Janitor's POV

It had started out like any other normal day

**Note****-Janitor's POV**

Something was different today. As I went around the morning's chores, something felt like it was missing, and I could place my finger on what it was. But then I realised. Where was Scooter? I hadn't seen him since her took a pot at me during his mental breakdown. And I needed to repay him for that!

I saw Blonde Doctor and Scary-Wife Nurse at the nurse's desk. Blonde Doctor was crying, and Scary-Wife Nurse was comforting her, but she looked upset as well. Hey, they were both Scooter's best friends, I thought, they're bound to know where he is!

So I went up to them.

"Hey, have you ladies seen Scooter around recently? I haven't seen him for a few days!"

But for some reason, Blonde Doctor started crying even harder. Scary-Wife Nurse gave me a death glare.

"Oh my god, Janitor, I knew you were evil but I didn't realise you were so sick that you would say something like that!" she snapped. Then they walked off, leaving me confused.

"What did I say?" I asked myself. But I shrugged it off, and carried on mopping. But then the doctor that Scooter always follows around came down the hall.

"Hey! Where's Scooter?"

But the doctor turned round, and boy was he mad.

"For God's sake, Lurch, just you keep on mopping and stop getting in people's way! You know damn well where Newbie is so don't try and rub it in our faces with your so-called jokes because quite frankly, you make me sick!"

"Hang on a minute! I've already asked Blonde Doctor and Scary-Wife Nurse the same question and got the same response? What's going on?"

Angry Doctor turned glared at me.

"Ok, I'll say it just so you'll shut up and leave us all alone. JD is in a coma suffering from brain cancer in room 301. Now get back to your mopping, Lurch, before I kick down one of your stupid doors!"

Scooter was in a coma? Now this I had to see! I went into 301 and shut the door.

I had prepared myself to laugh, sing, dance over his body. But seeing him there made me stop. And then I realised I had to talk.

"Hey there, Scooter! I guess I have to say something. It's not like your going to remember, and I swear to God I'll kill you if you do. Eh, you'll probably die anyway. But anyway, Scooter, I wanted to say thanks. My life was pretty crap; I mean suicidal crap, till you came along and gave me something to obsess over. And how you've managed to outlive my obsession is a mystery. Without that, I probably wouldn't be here right now. To be quite honest, Scooter, you're the closest thing I have to a friend at the moment, apart from Blonde Doctor. Maybe when you wake up, we could go crack open a beer sometime? Oh, and if you die, can I have your body? I wanna stuff it…hmm, that would be an interesting add to my squirrel army…well, that's all I've got for you, Scooter. Sleep well!"

I was about to leave. But then, as an afterthought, I turned and ran my mop a few times over his face. Well, I was hardly going to leave without doing that! It was ritual!

It was our thing.


	10. My Life JDs POV

It had started out like any other normal day

**Note****-Ok, and back to JD!**

I'd been in a coma for four days now, and had been the weirdest four days of my life. I'd floated in and out of sleep, shuddering in and out of reality. I'd listened to people coming in and out of the room, some I loved and some I couldn't care less about. Dan came at one point. He sat and ate a massive triple chocolate fudge cake. I never really knew how Dan felt about me until he started crying and left. He's probably lying in Carla's bathtub drinking beer right about now.

During the last days, I have learned a few things.

That I am in love with Perry Cox

That he is in love with me

That Elliot still loves me

But hey, everyone loves John Dorian!

But trying to wake up for the past couple of days has been tiring. I miss life. So many things I wanted to do but put off, assuming I'd have the time to grow old. And it would be nice to grab a beer with the Janitor sometime.

But realistically, what were the chances that I was going to make it? All I could do was pray that there were Appletinis in heaven.

Tomorrow was surgery. I wonder if Turk pulled out. I wouldn't feel safe having the Todd rummaging around in my mind.

_The Todd is performing surgery on JD's head. _

"_Ok, let's just get this thing out…ooh, hello honey!" he says. He turns to the window to wave at a hot girl, and then turns back. _

"_Oh crap, is that his brain? Oh well. Death high-five!"_

_He picks up JD's limp hand and high-fives it before leaving. _

Oh god, Turk, don't leave me in the hands of this beast!

I'm itching to get back to work, to open my eyes and breathe in air which isn't tainted with plastic and chemicals. To taste one more Appletini with Turk. To gossip once more with Carla. To help Elliot diagnose a patient once more. To be belittled and crushed by Dr Cox once more. To have the Janitor run his mop over my face once more…wait, he already did that! For those little things, I would give so much.

I wonder if they'll miss me as much as I'll miss them.

I heard the door open, and the cooling breeze that came with alerted me that someone had come in.

"Good morning, John" said Dr Remore. He was the only person who called me by my real name. I preferred JD.

Suddenly, lights swam in front of my eyes, and I felt woozy. The noises around me sounded fainter, and I was blacking out…

"_He's coding! Nurse Espinosa, I need assistance!"_

"_What's going on…oh my god, Bambi!"_

"_We'll have to get him into immediate surgery. Could you page Dr Wen please?"_

_A sharp pain in my arm, an injection. Two electric shocks either side of my chest. Strong arms picking me up and placing me on a gurney. I am wheeled through doors through to the surgery room. Everything is clouding over…_

_Please, God, don't let me die. _


	11. His Surgery Everyone's POV

It had started out like any other normal day

**Note****-It might get a little confusing here, because this is a multi-character POV, so its going to switch back and forth. But hey, enjoy anyway!**

**Turks POV**

I sat outside the surgery room, watching my colleagues operate on my best friend. I would be in there if I could, but with the state I was in, I probably would have screwed up and killed him. I was amazed that Todd could keep a steady hand.

I had just finished a surgery when Carla wheeled him in on a gurney. He'd been coding a few minutes ago, she had said.

So now I was sitting her, shaking with emotion, watching the operation. I couldn't keep my eyes off it. I was surrounded by people all doing the same thing. I bowed my head, and offered a silent prayer to the big guy.

Please, don't let Vanilla-Bear die…

**Carla's POV**

When Bambi started coding, I had to wheel him through to emergency surgery. It was all I could do not to keel over and crash him into the walls. I was sitting now, watching my friend, not sure whether he would live or die. So many people need you to live, Bambi. Don't give up on them, please…

**Dr Cox's POV**

Carla paged me to say that Newbie was coding. Hell, I ne-he-hearly collapsed.

I kept a straight face as I watched the operation, unblinking. I'd only just come to terms with my feelings for JD. He couldn't die. I wouldn't let him.

I closed my eyes briefly, and remembered that goofy grin he had when he was happy. It always struck me that even when we first met and I belittled him so much, he still kept smiling for me. I suppose that's why I fell for him. I needed that smile.

If he could have heard me then, I would have promised him so much. I would have promised never to call him Newbie or girls names. I would have promised not to ever demean everything he said and did again. Hell, if it would make him live, I would have promised to bury these feelings deep inside and never show them.

Just please wake up…

**Elliot's POV**

I crumpled into myself, and almost collapsed onto the floor. Janitor came to my aid, and helped me back onto my feet. Nobody else moved.

I'd dealt with coding patients before, but they weren't my best friend, my ex, the love of my life. And normally, JD would help me through with the situation, always there to lean on.

Only now he wasn't.

Frick, JD, stay alive…

**Janitor's POV**

I hoped Blonde Doctor was alright. She didn't look too good when I had to help her up. I never really realised she was so close to Scooter. I technically shouldn't have been in there. But Scooter was my enemy and my friend. No new interns would be the same as him.

Come on, Scooter…


	12. My Choice JDs POV

It had started out like any other normal day

**Note****-Ok, will JD live or die? Find out in this final chapter…**

My eyes fluttered open. My eyelids felt sticky, and my head felt lighter than before. I took in a deep breath. My eyes darted towards the foot of my bed, where someone sat, dozing, in one of the wooden hospital chairs.

I shifted myself up. The sounds of Sacred Heart came whirling through my ears in a cacophonous jumble of noise. I smiled, and took the oxygen mask off my face. I breathed in sweet air, and sighed.

The person in the chair shifted, and woke up. They stared at me for a moment, and then grinned.

"Nice to see you finally joined us, Newbie. And here's me thinking you'd be with the heavenly choir by now" Dr Cox said softly.

"Did it work?" I asked.

"Well, you're alive, aren't you?"

I smiled with relief.

"How long was I gone for? My body clock's vanished"

"Six days. Two since the surgery"

He reached down and pressed a few buttons on his pager. Soon enough, the door swung open, and Turk ran in, closely followed by Carla and Elliot.

"Vanilla-bear!" cried Turk. He sat down on the bed, and we wrapped our arms around each other. The girls were crying. So were we.

"Guess I'd better be off. Leave you ladies alone" said Dr Cox, and he got up and left, shutting the door behind him.

I hugged Carla and Elliot in turn. Carla whispered in my ear "He was sitting with you since the surgery!"

That made me smile.

I had to stay in the hospital for a few more weeks while I had the chemo. It was going to be difficult, but not as difficult as being in a coma. And Ted was going to show me some great new wig shops!

He didn't come back at first. I think he was trying to avoid me. But he came in a few days after I woke up.

"How you doing, Newbie?" he asked.

"Great, thanks"

"Hey, listen…while you were in your coma, could you hear what I was saying?"

I smiled.

"Every single word"

My mentor sighed, and ran his hands through his hair.

"Ok, look, just pretend that never happened. Just forget it"

"Why?"

He gave me a stare that was half angry, half confused.

"What did you say, Newbie?"

"Why should I forget it? I love you too"

He was stunned for a moment. But then he leant over and kissed me.

"Are you sure about this?"

"I'm sure, Perry"

Outside, I could see Elliot watching us through the window in the door. She smiled and walked away.

I guess everyone makes choices. Whether it's for the benefit of yourself, or for the benefit of your friends. As for me, I finally made the choice to live.

After all, Appletinis probably aren't allowed in heaven!

**Thanks for everyone who has reviewed my story so far, and I hope you enjoyed it. A big thank you to my friend Tabitha (not real name) for reading and giving me ideas. And thank you to you, my reader. **


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